& i'm still feelings really vexed. i really don't know what the hell am i doing with my life. i deserved to be killed seriously. i'm not fit to be loved by anyone. & yes, i fucking do not wanna believe in love anymore. it's full of bullshit & deceiving each others feelings. i may not know much about it but i'm learning from what i have gone through. especially the point i hate it when guys use girls as their spare of just someone to have a fling with. when you put in that much, all you receive is nothing but shit. okay, i may be talking a pile of rubbish here because i'm fucking pissed. i realise that guys are no different from each other. they look the same, sound the same & even the things they say are the same. i promise myself i must not be deceived by any other guy anymore. that's a deal i made to my heart. i'm talking shit. oh hell spare me.